Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
