ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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