the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
