Cold hands, warm shart.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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