So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I love you.
Bad choice
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