Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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