people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He felt like a one man threesome
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
