I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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