they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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