I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
