It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
