dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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