college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
