Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
