Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
