Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
