she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
