dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
