my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize