btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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