woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
