im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
