Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
