i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
