Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize