This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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