they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
