Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
