so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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