i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
