Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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