you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize