i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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