And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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