guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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