I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
