Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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