I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
