I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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