She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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