yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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