I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
