The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just pee around me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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