Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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