I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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