Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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