problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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