told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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