Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
