I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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