Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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