Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
