just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
