ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
