it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
