I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize