It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
