i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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