Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your cock deserves a montage
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
