waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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