He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
