I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
