I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and she was petting her beer can
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
