Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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