Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
