I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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