Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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