So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
