I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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