Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
