Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
