Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
