honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
