Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
